Wellness Strategies for Managing Stress and Finding Balance in Divorce

Learning how to mitigate stress and find peace amidst the chaos in life is critical to your mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health and well-being.

Not managing stress in your life can lead to burn out, short tempers, damaged relationships, and worse yet, can increase your risk of a major health breakdown or disease.

I could give you a list a mile long of all the possible causes of stress in your life. I’m sure you can name a few stresses you’re going through, or have been through, right off the top of your head.

Not that we need to rank stressful events, but you might be surprised to see how the biggest ones stack up.

Divorce is hard and stressful, no matter how amicable or not you and your partner are.

According to the Holmes-Rahe Life Stress Inventory*, the top five most stressful life events are:

• Death of a spouse: 100 points
• Divorce: 73 points
• Marital separation: 65 points
• Imprisonment: 63 points
• Death of a close family member: 63 points

Loss of a family member being in the top five is not surpising, but seeing where divorce and marital separation rank, is. Mostly because people generally talk about the grief and stress that comes with loss, but don’t often talk about the depth of damage, grief, and imbalance the loss of a marriage can cause.

Regardless of the specific event, knowing how tied stress is to our mental and physical health, it warrants exploring the following simple and actionable strategies to help relieve stress, encourage balance, and restore emotional neutrality – and ultimately, to encourage overall wellness and support more positive outcomes in divorce and beyond.

1. Mindfulness and Meditation Techniques

• Description: Learn simple mindfulness exercises and meditation practices that can help calm your mind, reduce anxiety, and improve emotional resilience.
• Action Tips: Get on YouTube and search for a 5 minute mindfulness or meditation video to follow. Or, try a free meditation app – I love to use the free Insight Timer app on my phone for its variety of guided, non-guided, and length of time based meditation options and choices. Easy to use whether you’re at the park for ten minutes, or just parked in your car in your driveway. Decide to take control of your thoughts and see how it changes the way you feel.

2. Balanced Nutrition for Emotional Well-Being

• Description: Understand the impact of nutrition on your mood and energy levels. Don’t reach for alcohol, sugar, or carbs to help you soothe yourself… these foods backfire by causing you to feel worse (i.e. gut issues, inflammation, headache, fatigue, etc…) Redirect your attention from the stress of your divorce by deciding to come out of this difficult season in better health than ever. Get tips on incorporating balanced meals and healthy snacks into your diet to support your emotional stability.
• Action Tips: Go to the library and take out a health-focused cookbook. Don’t feel like eating? Read inspiring blogs about health and wellness. Follow healthy examples of fit, strong, inspiring people on social media. Create an easy to follow, simple, whole-foods meal plan with stress-reducing foods for your kids (they are in an emotional high-stress situation with you). Keep sweets and processed foods to a minimum.

3. Physical Activity for Stress Relief

• Description: Use regular physical activity can help alleviate stress and boost your mood. Explore different types of exercise that are both manageable and beneficial during this time. Not feeling up to the gym? Get online for a free 10 minute gentle yoga class. Or, take a short walk outdoors, or pause your morning or evening routine for a five minute stretch session. Regular movement can make a difference in how you show up when you feel emotionally triggered by your spouse, your attorney, your kids, or co-workers.
• Action Tips: Work on creating a list of low-impact exercises or a beginner’s workout routine that interests you. Grab a friend and try a gentle yoga class (free online or locally). Take a walk and listen to an inspiring audiobook or podcast. I have lots of recommendations, reach out if you want suggestions!

4. Establish a Self-Care Routine

• Description: Create a personalized self-care routine that includes activities you enjoy and find relaxing. Learn how regular self-care can help you stay grounded and resilient. Self-care helps you stay balanced and grounded in what often feels like a scary and overwhelming process of divorce.
• Action Tips: A self-care checklist with activities like reading, hobbies, or taking relaxing baths… soft jammie’s, essential oils, massage, sound baths, manicures, or even getting extra sleep. Get my free Divorce Wellness Checklist to get many more ideas!

5. Build a Support Network

• Description: Identify the importance of surrounding yourself with supportive friends, family, and/or professional support. Tips for reaching out and connecting with others who can offer encouragement. Try not to only lean on friends only for the relief of fear and stress – it’s helpful to you to also continue an active interest in their lives (even while you feel like yours is imploding!)
• Action Tips: Take steps to identify and reach out to your support network. Take note of which friends and support professionals make you feel strong and inspired to handle hard situations, rather than those who actually make you feel worse and less capable. Read into how people make you feel in your body and trust that intuition to guide you. If therapy is something you’d like to explore, seek referrals (from friends, your attorney or mediator, your divorce coach, or online communities.

6. Stress Management Techniques

• Description: Use practical strategies for managing stress, such as deep breathing exercises (google breathwork), tapping, meditation, progressive muscle relaxation, and journaling.
• Action Tips: Give this a try for a simple deep breathing exercise or learn how to use journaling to process emotions, feelings, and fears. I adore the power of journaling. It helped me through some of the toughest fears and feelings I’ve had in life. It helped me get through my mom’s dementia and eventual passing; to overcome my crippling fear of flying; and helped me get through my own epically painful divorce. I find journaling so powerful, that I created a mini course on journaling! You can check it out here or learn more here too.

7. Set Healthy Boundaries

• Description: Learn how to set and maintain healthy boundaries to protect your well-being during the divorce process. Get support around communicating your needs effectively.
• Action Tips: Examples of boundary-setting statements and scenarios.

Prioritizing your wellness during a divorce is essential for your overall well-being. By integrating these strategies into your daily routine, you can navigate this challenging time with greater ease and resilience.

More Guidance:

For more personalized support and resources to help you through your separation and/or divorce process, grab my FREE Divorce Wellness Checklist and consider a complimentary 30-minute private consult with me (over phone or zoom) – click here to view available time & dates.

 

*The Holmes-Rahe Life Stress Inventory is a scale that assesses recent life experiences and assigns a point value to each event. The total score of the events can indicate the likelihood of a major health breakdown in the next two years.